JoJo cooks meth
This blog contains a receipe for manufacturing an illegal drug. Do not make this drug. Just because it will give you extreem sexual prowess resulting in your name and phone number being written in both the mens and womens rest rooms of all the SUNOCO stations along interstate 64. You will not sleep for weeks at a time. You'll memorize entire text books during the commercials on South Park. It will make your ****************(censored)

First let me make this clear. I do not give shout outs. This is not the “John Boy and Billy Big Show.”

That having been said let me tell you about how Elly-Bob and JoJo the Monkey faced boy got into cooking meth.

You’ll remember that during Elly-Bob’s first marriage she lived in Buckskin and worked at the Tastee Frreez. (Here’s a little ditty bout Jack & Diane). Her husband Brando cooked meth. It was purely medicinal and calmed him down since his mother stole all his prescription ritilan. They used to buy pseudaphedrine by the case. Wally mart didn’t care they made money on every pill sold. The pharmaceutical companies pretended they were just a bunch of allergies. And everybody said Brando made the best meth. So ever one was happy. Well after Brando took the baby and moved back to Saudi Arabia, Ellie-Bob moved to West Virtucky. (that does sound dirty doesn't it?)

After dating most of the state she found some one willing to tolerate her.
This is JoJo the Monkey Faced Boy.

She sent JoJo out to buy all the ingredients. Alkaline batteries, bacteria based septic tank cleaner, soup starter, and a big tank of propane gas.

Elly-Bob told JoJo to build a fire under the propane tank. Unfortunately they had a child proof lighter, which neither could work. So they called 911 to find out what they were doing wrong. The operator sent the sheriff who was JoJo’s uncle in law.
He couldn’t figure out what was wrong either. So they just bought some robitussin.
There was a story about it in the newspaper.

JoJo the Monkey Faced Boy learns to communicate

Watson, come quickly I need you
What hath god wrot
OMG

My daughter Elly-Bob had read that primates could be taught to sign, ASL, American Sign Language, like deaf people use. However that would involve Elly-Bob learning to sign.
There were several reasons that was not going to happen. These include the fact that learning-anything- involves focus and concentration on something besides Elly-Bob.

Not for Elly-Bob.
Investing time in another living creature might lead to a long term relationship.
Not going to happen.

And Elly-Bob was already getting bored with JoJo the monkey faced boy. But Elly-Bob is nothing if not clever so she decided to teach JoJo the monkey faced boy to text.

As in:

Jmbmnbff=JoJo the monkey boy my new best friend for ever.

Of course what old Jo would be taught to text is:
EBB=Elly-Bob is beautiful

And
ILYBH=I love your blond hair.

And
NTJDMYALF-no those jeans don’t make your ass look fat

And
NynlyM=No You’re Nothing Like Your MotherAnd
RGR=Rainbow Girls Rule

And the classic:
AAAE;SAJMETTO=All animals are equal some are just more equal that the others.

And
EBITE=Elly-Bob is the equalest.

JoJo the monkey faced boy texted:
MNybffnm=me not your best friend forever no more

JoJo the Monkey Faced Boy learns to communicate

Watson, come quickly I need you
What hath god wrot
OMG


My daughter Elly-Bob had read that primates could be taught to sign, ASL, American Sign Language, like deaf people use. However that would involve Elly-Bob learning to sign.
There were several reasons that was not going to happen. These include the fact that learning-anything- involves focus and concentration on something besides Elly-Bob.

Not for Elly-Bob.
Investing time in another living creature might lead to a long term relationship.
Not going to happen.

And Elly-Bob was already getting bored with JoJo the monkey faced boy. But Elly-Bob is nothing if not clever so she decided to teach JoJo the monkey faced boy to text.

As in:

Jmbmnbff=JoJo the monkey boy my new best friend for ever.

Of course what old Jo would be taught to text is:
EBB=Elly-Bob is beautiful

And
ILYBH=I love your blond hair.

And
NTJDMYALF-no those jeans don’t make your ass look fat

And
NynlyM=No You’re Nothing Like Your Mother

And
RGR=Rainbow Girls Rule

And the classic:
AAAE;SAJMETTO=All animals are equal some are just more equal that the others.

And
EBITE=Elly-Bob is the equalest.

JoJo the monkey faced boy texted:
MNybffnm=me not your best friend forever no more

Chapter One
blasphemous or just vulgar?

Sister Mary Bogumilla could have changed her name to “Sister Jennifer.” Jennifer was her baptismal name. Since Vatican II sisters were allowed to go back to their baptismal names. But to the ear of Sister Mary Bogumilla, “Sister Jennifer” or “Sister Mary Jennifer” had the ring of some American Idol version of a member of a religious order. One almost of expected to see “Sister Jennifer” along with Tom Bosely selling navy blue support hose on Victoria’s Secret commercials. Anyway, everyone called her BOGO.

Bogo joined the Order of the Daughters of Beloved Benevolence right out of eighth grade. The sisters encouraged girls to spend their high school years in the convent school. Bogo had her first period with the walls of a Daughters institution. She was going through menopause within the walls of a Daughters institution. And she would most probably die without breaking any of her three vows within the walls of a Daughters institution. Except for the time she broke the vow of obedience by refusing to eat the spoiled peas when she was 17. The Daughters were a Polish order. Bogumilla is a Polish name that means beloved of God. That’s a pretty good name for a bride of Christ.

The Daughters of Beloved Benevolence were founded by a famous Polish priest, St. Stanislaus of St. James. Like the St. James who wrote the Epistle, St. Stanislaus was a great believer in good works. St. Stanislaus founded many religious orders of men and women dedicated to good works. They founded hospitals and soup kitchens. The members of the order worked as nurses and social workers. They built big buildings. The buildings continue to stand. People continue to serve patients in those buildings but the nurses and social workers are people who go home at night. They don’t belong to the Daughters. Most don’t go to church, or think much about God. The few sisters left, sisters like Bogo are either high, high up administrators or chaplains. Bogo is a chaplain. The sister in charge of the other sisters is no longer called mother superior as in “Mother Superior jumped the gun.” Now they are called Sister Servant. This is usually said with an ironic smile. Sister Rene was Sister Bogo’s Sister Servant. They hated each other as only Daughters of Beloved Benevolence can.

Sister Bogo told those that she trusted she had the gift of discernment. She trusted Fr. Abelard. He never asked her what she could discern. Sr. Bogo also had the gift of schizophrenia. She was taken to the psychiatric unit at the Daughters hospital in Kansas City a couple of times a year.